Lawful boundaries (Golden Words of Allah Ep 82)

“For one of you to be struck on the head with an iron needle is better for him than to touch a woman who is not lawful for him.”(Reported by al-Tabarani; graded Hasan by scholars)

By Abdullahi Yusuf

In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful. All perfect praise is due to Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, the Lord of the Worlds. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah, and Muhammad (pbuh), is His slave and final Messenger.

The Qur’an addresses human conduct by principle. In matters of interaction between men and women, Allah begins with the lowering of the gaze, the guarding of chastity and the preservation of modesty. These commands are given to believing men and believing women alike.

Among the most misunderstood areas of Islamic ethics today is physical contact between men and women who are not mahram, particularly handshakes, hugs and casual touching justified in public spaces under the banner of politeness and culture or modern civilization.

Within this framework, physical contact between those who are not lawful to one another is treated with caution. The Sunnah clarifies this caution through the practice of the Prophet Muhammad (pbuh), whose conduct remains the most reliable commentary on the Qur’an.

Aisha (ra) reported that when women gave the pledge of allegiance, the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) accepted it verbally and never touched their hands. She said: “The hand of the Messenger of Allah never touched the hand of a woman.” (Sahih al-Bukhari).

In another narration, the Prophet (pbuh) spoke with unmistakable clarity about the seriousness of unnecessary touch, saying that to endure harm would be better than to touch one who is not lawful. Scholars understood this as a warning against treating physical contact as insignificant or harmless.

As for those who engage in such contact out of ignorance, Islam differentiates between deliberate defiance and lack of knowledge. Ignorance does not transform what is impermissible into permissible, but it does affect personal blame. The solution is not public shaming, but learning, restraint, and conscious change once knowledge reaches a person.

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Allah is gentle and loves gentleness in all matters.”(Sahih Muslim)

However, gentleness does not mean dilution of guidance. Remember, civilization in Islam is not measured by physical familiarity, but by self-control. 

Islam does not prohibit interaction between men and women it regulates it. Speech is permitted and cooperation is allowed, also professionalism is encouraged but touching between non-mahram men and women is restricted to what Allah has permitted.

And Allah knows best.

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