Chaos in Sleepovers (Golden Words of Allah Ep71)
“Every one of you is a shepherd, and every one of you will be asked about his flock.” (Sahih al-Bukhari, Sahih Muslim)
By Abdullahi Yusuf
In the name of Allah, the Beneficent, the Merciful. All perfect praise is due to Allah, may He be glorified and exalted, the Lord of the Worlds. We bear witness that there is none worthy of worship but Allah, and Muhammad (pbuh), is His slave and final Messenger.
The idea of children sleeping over at friends’ homes are gradually becoming normalized. In today’s changing world, many social habits once foreign to Muslim societies, are becoming increasingly adopted. The Prophet (peace be upon him) taught us to guard the sanctity of our homes and to cultivate modesty and protection around our children.
Allowing your child, especially a daughter, to sleep in another home unsupervised, in an environment you do not control, may unknowingly expose them to behaviours, conversations, or influences that contradict their upbringing.
Children today are raised in a world where values differ widely from home to home. A friend’s house may have a different moral environment or family habits. The sleepover culture may open doors to: Unsupervised access to media or internet content, early exposure to harmful conversations about gender, relationships, or disobedience. Differences in hygiene, prayer, or halal observance, even physical vulnerabilities especially for young girls
The Prophet pbuh said: “A person follows the religion (way of life) of his close friend, so let each of you look at whom he befriends.” (Sunan Abu Dawood, Hadith 4833; At-Tirmidhi)
Islam does not demand isolation from society, but it calls for discernment and supervision. Children should have friendships, but within safe, known environments.
Hosting friends at home with your oversight, is far safer and more nurturing. It allows your child to socialize while keeping the moral fabric of your household intact.
Practical Parental Wisdom:
1. Know the homes, parents and environment your children visit.
2. Set clear boundaries, overnight visits should be exceptional and well-justified.
3. Host more than you send and let your home be the safe space where values are reinforced.
4. Pray for protection. Recite Ayat al-Kursi and Surah Al-Falaq and An-Nas for your children regularly.
The wives of the Prophet pbuh, and the early Muslim women raised their children in guarded environments, teaching them adab and discernment. They understood that upbringing is not only about what you teach, but also what you protect from exposure.
Allowing sleepovers in environments where values differ may risk undoing what you have carefully built in your child.
Allah reminds us: “And Allah is Ever, All-Watchful over everything.” (Surah Al-Ahzab, 33:52)
Allah knows best.
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